For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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