I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
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