She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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