Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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