i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
