I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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