4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
