I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
