At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
