Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
