fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
