I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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