Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
