so explain again why im purple
no
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
