i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
