totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize