when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
