They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
