doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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