3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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