Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
