kristin has been a bad kristin
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
zippers are such a cool invention
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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