Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
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