Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
