Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Let's paint friendship bongs
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
