i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
