I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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