doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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