take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Randomize
