That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
