I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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