Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
