At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
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Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
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I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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