i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
