Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
