there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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