Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
