Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
