you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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