where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
