i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Even my vagina gasped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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