It's just like the Real World with babies
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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