i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
