she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
