I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Randomize
