Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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