Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
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