I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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