Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Randomize
