My room smells like vodka and shame
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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