There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
