you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Randomize
