who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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