what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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