i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
