i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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