dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
The best revenge is premature balding
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
