We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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