fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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