A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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