Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
