Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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