take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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